Amphitryon

rat attacked me

jumped outta the mo fuckin trash? stupid bitches on my nuts. not going out ever again. ever.

Coming up?

This week has been insane in the most cliche way. I am really trying to explore myself by just giving into the world. From Monday to Sunday its been a whirlwind that I must admit hasnt left me with the fulfilled breathless sensation I had imagined, its more like the breathless you’d expect the breathless of a lack of satisfaction. And I know in every happy moment there is a equal come down resonating at its side. but as I sit here on this Sunday evening I find myself trying to justify my personal decisions. I cant help but wonder if I’ll ever be over taken with the beauty that I know this life is capable of. Here are some things I wrote throughout the week-hopefully it can paint a picture of how I am existing… (preface: reading this now I hate it and find it to be a terrible portrayl of my real beliefs but with ideas constantly shifting I suppose I never really fully beileve anything so without further adu… 

Love is a many layered thing. Just when you think you have seen its full shade time passes and before you realize it another peal has unfolded before your eyes. With each unearth history is repeated, not in a cycle but in an exchange. You blush just as the stars come out. Why is the start of man kind as we know it not simply marked by the beginning of love? Maybe then we would put love where it belong as the core of eternal being, our ether, not just our nature but who we essential are. For are we not each just bodies of love? Sure we look for love, but what differs a man from his primary mission? Is not every action aimed at an intention? Do man’s actions not directly shape the person is and is becoming? Becoming more of who we are means stepping away from our lack of fear.

Instability is at the essence of fear. But is it not instability that sparks change? Only can a Question be asked when there is uncertainty in the answer. Instability a lack begging for stability. For its ironically axiological second half

Soft light pushed through what should have been a heavy darkness. The light almost made things sparkle but it was really the texture of the night that made it glisten. The drenched summer air pulsing through the freedom of a perfect winded temperature. Inspired by the very vigor she sat together with herself. Almost overwhelmed with her own company she soaked in every sunless kiss of the easing energy.  

I officially will get teased for the rest of my life. Also I have lost any hope at mating. Fantastic. 

enjoy my self proliferated demise…..

I miss my cell phone…

Gotta some new philosophical bull shit to post but for now ill just cry about my inability to take care of my possessions

Last night….

Leslie:  we were shit showsi remember dancing me:  oh no Leslie:  like swing dancing haha me:  oh YES

 Leslie:  was that with you??or a dudelol 

A New Era

Hay all you creeps and freaks (JUST LIKE ME WHAT?!?!)

I have come to the realization that despite my persistent efforts, I am still a product of this time and therefor have to adapt to mechanism. I don’t think there is a person who knows me that is not aware of my spastic tendency to lose destroy and basically not give a fuck about my cell phone. But who isn’t like that? arnt we all just pissed off about constant communication? In the Beatles song “All My Loving” (yes, I am learning life lessons from the Beatles and no I don’t respect if you don’t) Paul says, “even though I’m away ill write home every dayyyy and ill send all my loving to you.” I ask you this can we really send all our loving through this awkward interface? I am not convinced. After seeing countless friends bite the bullet of a crush through beyond awkward online time I am more then a skeptic when it comes to cyber love. This blog it self to me was a bit of a secret. Not something I wanted to share. But is that even possible anymore? with these constant posts tweets and updates I don’t have a facebook but i know for a fact I am on that shit. The internet is literally a black hole that sucks you in and there is no hope for escape.(at least there’s reddit in that hole.)

I also learned today that the english language is so globally successful because it adapts (please note i did not say evolve because I am not sure this change was an improvement.)Lengthy. Reliable. Talented. Influential. Tremendous. these are words that Americans decided to add to the english language after the revolution. ( don’t be an idiot we didn’t sit around drink tea and vote on it, but isn’t that a great image and something we should do? I’ll bring the beer) Side notes aside….That fact BLEW my mind. can you imagine life with out these words to over inflate our already TREMENDOUS egos? I mean really America what would do with out this shit? 

That random fact freaks me out so much because I think of how these words embody so much of the American spirit. Then I think of how they have shaped our country and our people. If they emerged out of thin air and appeared totally altering our world what words will possibly emerge in this new wave electronic obsessed atmosphere? it is obvious to me that people are getting lazy and uncreative. sitting in front of a computer and typing this is far less intense then writing it and trying to get others to read it. even know I am making countless grammatical errors because I am lazy and dont give a fuck. Maybe i am on the wrong page, maybe its not more words but a lack of words. 

I guess in the end I am not really sure what would be worse….

this post is mad ADD and has not conclusion. sex on a stick I dig it!